Monday morning at 7am, I hopped on a boat that is about to sail for the next year.  A few friends from work, and I are embarking on a project, through which a process will be learned…a deep process.  Back in May I got a miniscule glimpse of what it would look like, but even today, I have no clue how it will all come together.

Molly and Jen are the two other teachers that have the opportunity to become "master teachers", as Brian Kissman dramatically tells us we will be.  (This guy is a master storyteller and is coaching us to be as well:)  He and his business partner, Susan Sturock, are building depth in us, as educators, that I’ve never dreamed of having…I didn’t really know that it existed!  It’s extremely overwhelming at the moment, but completely okay, because I know that it will all come together and make sense once I get to process through and learn some more. 

I will definitely be blogging about this on a regular basis throughout the next year, which will be a switch from my normal life:)…even though other educators don’t even read my memoirs.  Well, perhaps my readership will be expanded.

Let’s see if I can remember, off the top of my head, the Six Super Standards of Literacy that we’re
learning…I can’t.  Not yet.  (Oh wait, they’re right here.)  One of them has to do with students becoming proficient writers.  That’s where they’ve got me hooked, everyday.  Brian wants us to journal, in a journal, everyday for 10 minutes.  I don’t think blogging counts, although I really think it should, on the days that I do it.  But, seriously, everyday?…On some level I will thrive on the challenge of knowing that my integrity is at stake if I don’t do it, but pretend that I did by writing two entries in one day (did I just write that out loud?)  No, no!  I will become a proficient writer, in order to become a proficient writing teacher!  It must happen!  (You should see our MEAP writing scores-ouch!!!)

One thing that is nice about writing in a journal is that if I do that, I don’t have to worry about torturing people who read my randoms thoughts, cleverly typed at 10:45pm, when I’m super, super tired.  I’m not the best of writers to begin with, although I do have fun…and I even made my group laugh, both yesterday and today when I shared my entries!  We’ll have to see what I’m allowed to do:)

For real, if you read this on Thursday, remind God that I need His grace to get what I’m supposed to 🙂

Best.

Initially when I think of the word complicated, a negative connotation comes to mind.  I think thoughts like:

"Well, that complicates things."
"Why does life have to be so stinkin’ complicated?"
"Why does that person always have to make things complicated?"

In my Lifegroup last night, Mark, Glenn and I were reading and talking about how we have good complications and bad complications; God-driven complications and sin-driven complications.

Take, for instance, our schedules.  Sometimes my schedule gets complicated because I set the stage for all the things I want to do and accomplish-at times because I’m selfish and want to stand out (sound familiar?).  Other times my schedule gets complicated because God gives me passions to see things happen and He gives me the resources to do them. 

Relationships can be complicated.  As much as I want to be married, I also want to stay single!  (Yes, you read that right:)  Being single can make some things complicated-like how I don’t get to hang out with cool, married couples at church as often as I’d like, or how I know I’ll feel a little weird seeing a bunch of my old married (with kids) friends at a big gathering next month…as a single person with no prospects within the state of Michigan.  At the same time, I can’t think of the last time I had to ask someone else if they minded that I went to hang out with my girlfriends, or that I apologized for missing dinner, or that I had to check to see if it was okay that I was going away for at least 3 days, 3 times during the month of August.  There’s no way I’d be able to do all that if I were married (and with kids)!  I love being single!  And I’ll love being married.  They’re both pretty complicated in their own rights, huh?  I honestly have a gut feeling that the latter will be a bit more complicated than what life ships my way now:)

Then there’s work.  My friend, Dana, and I were talking about this just yesterday.  As we continue to grow in our profession, we seem to be earning more and more responsibility…and responsibility complicates things.  I’m not just a teacher.  I’m a nurse, a counselor, an after-school tutor, a comedian, a learner, a social worker, a parental support…plus, I’m the head of our school improvement team, a trusted person that’s always trying to get someone hired, I tend to be in "the know" about what’s going on behind the scenes with curriculum, the MEAP, and many other things that most teachers-at our school and most schools-couldn’t give a rip about, or just never ask.  So as I gain more knowledge about these things-because I’m either intuitive or nosy:)-I get asked to help out with more things-like with helping our new Dean of Discipline come up with a structure for his new program.  It makes things complicated!  But I love it!!!  It’s partly why I love working at a charter school.  Things aren’t this complicated in most regular school districts.  Most of the stuff we work on are done in offices across town, for schools like that.  But here we do the dirty work and I love being apart of it!

Serving Jesus can be very simple.  Having faith can be very simple.  I mean, if all we need is to have faith as small as a mustard seed to move a mountain…that doesn’t sound very complicated!  But check out these thoughts from Mark Batterson:

Faith embraces uncertainty.  We’ll never have all the answers.  And some people never come to terms with this truth.  They feel like something is wrong with them because they can’t wrap their minds around God.  But maybe faith has less to do with gaining knowledge and more to do with causing wonder.  Maybe a relationship with God doesn’t simplify our lives.  Maybe it complicates our lives in ways that should be complicated…Complications are often a byproduct of blessing…A relationship with God will complicate your life, but it will complicate your life in ways it should be complicated….One way or the other, life is complicated.  Good complications or bad complications-it’s your choice.

I just really liked these thoughts.  People look at the things I’m involved with and they think I want pity for being busy, but first of all, I love the things I get to do.  Teaching is a privilege.  Ministry is a privilege.  Sometimes I get tired, but I never want pity for that.  Life is not boring and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  At the same time, I can list about 5 friends whose lives are about 3x as busy as mine is, and to be honest, I look at them with pity sometimes, but they feel the same way about their complications as I do about mine.  God complications are fulfilling and fun.  When life becomes unfulfilling and seemingly crappy, that’s probably when I’d go back and re-evaluate whether the complications are a God thing.  (Sometimes they are and God wants us to suffer with Christ and not be babies about it-I see that too.)

I’d like to challenge myself to think critically about the things that are complicated around me.  Why are they complicated?  Should they be complicated?  Is this a God-complication or a a sin-complication?  This is huge.

Well, it’s official…I just got busier.

I work to give myself "me" time.  It can be hard during some weeks and fairly easy during other weeks.  Right now it’s early on Saturday afternoon and I realize that I’ve accomplished very little so far today.  I’m okay with that though.  Plus, I may take a nap in a little bit (you’d think I was a growing baby).  My list is right here in front of me, and blogging isn’t on it, but I need to put some thoughts down to continue in my day.

However, this past week I agreed to be a part of what we (at Hanley) are calling the Kissman Project.  While it’s difficult to gracefully organize into precise thoughts for this post, I will explain it simply like this; I have an amazing opportunity to be coached (perhaps mentored?) by two incredible people in the education field.  Three teachers at my school were chosen.  God-given opportunities are pretty obvious sometimes…this one’s quite obvious. 

I need to write this down because I know that I will hit a day when I’m so tired and exhausted from being a part of this project, this learning experience, that I will wonder whether I was really supposed to do it.  I need to be able to go back to this day and know that I am walking in God’s will. 

One main goal that Brian and Susan (my coaches) have emphasized is that we’re going to learn how to teach the process of learning.  If I could dialogue with you about this for a few minutes you would really see how much this was, so completely, made for me!  As I sat in that hot room on Thursday afternoon, and listened to them, I realized that what they want to accomplish through us is what I’ve been trying to figure out how to do with my students all year long!  I thought, "They’re going to help me do what I really want to do!"  It was great to be able to be authentic in sharing a small part of that with them.  It excites me.  After all, God is constantly taking me back to the process.  You’ll learn more through the process, or the journey, than through someone just telling you.  Learning through the process causes you to make what’s learned your own.