When I was in ninth grade, I remember competing at a fine arts competition and hearing a particular song sung over and over again. I recall thinking it was funny that so many people chose that song. No matter how many times I heard a girl (it usually was a girl:) go up on stage, in her poofy hair and long dress, sing that song that day, I teared up each time.
Warrior is a Child, by Twila Paris
Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I’m amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don’t see inside of me
I’m hiding all the tears
They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down
They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
‘Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child
Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I’m amazing
Never face retreat
But they don’t see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
They don’t know were words that resounded in my head…no one really knows! Well, Jesus knows, but sometimes (if we’re really honest) we encounter crises of faith and we question whether Jesus even knows. The fact of the matter is that the whole point of Jesus coming to join us here on earth for a season was so that He would know (as in experience), even as we know. Jesus gets temptation, and He gets being let-down. He gets it when Satan is telling Him lies and He has to decide to choose the Truth instead. He may have never sinned, but He understands the human condition resulting from The Fall.
I guess these are really my pondered thoughts…Sometimes we just don’t know the battles that other people are facing inside, and sometimes others don’t know the battles that we’re facing inside. Inside battles can be so enormous, and while someone might see a taste of it on your face, in a comment, or in a blog post:), they really don’t know. But there’s something to intercession and fasting that I’m learning about-and not even as an intercessor, or a faster, right now.
No matter what kind of battle I’ve been facing over the last several months, God has simply been blowing me away with His faithfulness. I have been a warrior-but feeling like a child. But God has been choosing stronger people in my life that are standing as warriors to fight for me. How humbling. I’ve had so many people telling me that they’re praying for me, and that God has been placing me on their hearts. I’ve had people tell me that they’ve been interceding and God just puts my face in front of them…This has been happening for months! Just like Hannah, He hasn’t forgotten me…although perhaps our physical goals are a little different:)
The funny thing is that those people, they don’t know…
People don’t have to know. I mean, it’s good to share our hearts and struggles and sins with each other-that’s vital for growth. But when people choose to go to war through prayer and fasting, they don’t necessarily have to know what’s going on…God just uses them in battle to fight because they’ve made themselves available to go where He is and obey. I’ve been humbled knowing that none of the people that have been praying for me have known the depth of why they’re praying for me. (I’m not even totally sure of that depth) They’re simply obedient people who love God and love people…and boy do they love to pray:)