…my roommate, Raylyn.
Here's her status update from this afternoon:
Today
at work I had to change the toilet paper in the bathroom. A woman let me in. Instead of leaving while I changed the roll, she stood
behind me. Topless. In her 64 year-old nakedness. I then had to help her
put on a shirt because she didn't know how to put it on correctly. I
see this woman every DAY. Just …another day in the life of your friendly neighborhood barista.
OUT OF CONTROL!
Today is an extremely intentional day of rest. I've been experiencing quite a bit of conviction over my
time and my heart lately. And even though it's summertime, and I'm a teacher, I've still stayed quite busy. Too busy. It's about to get worse.
Yesterday some things I'd been processing for a few weeks came to a head, when my friend, Katie, read my mail last night at a prayer meeting. Yes. I need to rest in Jesus. I do too much sometimes. And when I look around at so many of my friends who are doing more than me…I need to stop and realize that it's just not who God wired me to be. Stop comparing yourself to others. I hate feeling lazy. I need my heart to get it that resting in Him and saying "no" is not laziness. Becoming a sponge again…soaking in His presence.
So I'm sitting on my bed, down in my room (I've been here all day so far, doing this)…just worshiping. Kim Walker is belting out "He Loves Us" and I am embracing every drop His presence. My roommate just came down to do something and she stopped. She said, "Hmm…are you okay? You don't just sit here. I never see you do that. Actually, the last time I saw you do this, you were in pain." I smiled. "You're not in pain, are you?" "No." :)
I think that pretty much sums it up.
Insecurity has been haunting me lately. For the past couple of years I haven't been so awesome at blogging, but lately I think it has a lot to do with my insecurities. It isn't because I've been too busy, that's for sure. In some of my busiest moments I've often found time to blog about my thoughts and experiences…but not lately.
I keep thinking, "I'd like to blog about something…" but then don't feel like I have anything to say. How can I not have anything to say? If you know me, you know that I always have something to say, but for some reason I don't think that what has come to mind lately will have any worth to anyone else…like this post right now. So what's the point?
Eh.
Today I did something I didn't think I'd ever do again. I joined Curves. I waste money on things to get me healthy all too often. It's sad. Pitiful. Yep, keep shaking your head…I am. But today is a new day. I've blogged about wanting to be healthy so often, that it's almost funny to talk about this as if it's some new journey I'm on. It's not new. It'll never be new…again. But it is renewed. This past year has been awful for me, health-wise. Simply awful. I take responsibility though. And so today I renew…I am renewed.
Curves isn't my favorite type of exercise…I like to run (jog, actually, but it's running to me;). But I can't really do that right now. Not on the pavement. It's really bad for my back in its current state, and I'm pretty nervous about hurting my back again. Definitely not interested in reliving last Fall.
What I know that Curves does though, is that it gives me the structure I need right now. I will not likely stick with Curves after my 1 year commitment, but I need it to get me over this mountain-sized hump right now.
Believe it or not, I lost about 20 pounds in a couple of months without exercise…but then gained a few back…because I wasn't exercising. Gotta tame the beast.
I don't even think I've mentioned on this blog that I get to take part in leading an incredible group of leaders and students called Elevate. It pretty much rocks. ;) I love it. We're in a foundational series called MADE. We are MADE…in His image…created to love our God…to be attentive to Him, and be changed by Him. Got to speak in Elevate a few months ago, and the motto of the night was, "He made me. He loves me." Good stuff.
Love this Message paraphrase of Romans 12.1-2:
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday,
ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around
life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for
you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted
to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead,
fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out.
Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.
Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of
immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed
maturity in you.
Navigating life in my Big Girl Shoes
Worth Writing About
alive in the moment
because redheads have more fun
because redheads have more fun
Think with me daring things
Light and Liberty
because redheads have more fun
Memoirs of a Redhead 