Health

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye.

So-long-farewell-copyFor the past 2 weeks I decided to go lite on my sugar fast, which I've been on since the end of July.  I felt peace about it.  I felt like God was saying, "Kim, it's your fast.  I'm not the legalistic one here."  So, almost daily I've had some things with sugar in them, including:  specialized coffee drinks, a few cookies, some pie, and some candy.  Full disclosure…a muffin too.

Now I am sure that God said those things to me.  Why?  Because He knew that I needed a couple of weeks to see that I'm not ready to go off of my fast yet. :-)  I feel terrible….pretty sick.  Not good.  Get the picture? 

In Reading class we are learning about inferencing.  You take what the author is saying, add to it your background knowledge, and you create an inference!  Or you take what you see in a picture, add to it your background knowledge, or what you sense, and you create an inference!  So I am taking this nauseous feeling and the jittery heart beat that I keep feeling, add to it that those are awful feelings, and I create the inference that sugar really does suck for my body. 

My body is not a fan of the stuff-and it decided to show me that with the nausea, the rapid heart beat and the gaining of 6 pounds (ouch!).  2 weeks…6 pounds.  That's what adding sugar back in has done.  The funny thing is that part of that has come from the legarthy that has ensued, putting me to sit so much from being so dang tired.  Seriously.  What a domino effect.

So I'm done.  I can't do this anymore.  Sugar, you are gone again…for a very long time.  I really don't like you enough for all this.  Not. Worth. It. 

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye.

Kim-With-God-All-Things-Are-Possible

Jan 2011-May 2011 130
Some stats from www.mapmyrun.com that are a bit exciting to me (Presidents Day to Today)…

Total Miles= 62.31

Total Hours= 19.82

Workouts= 37

Total Calories= 11,132

I am so pumped to be a Buddy Runner in the Girls on the Run 5k on Sunday morning!  I get to run with a girl from my class who struggles to make it through the run…but I get to cheer her on and encourage her the whole time!  Feel free to pray for me:-)  The race starts @ 8am.  Also feel free to sponsor me as I run! http://www.active.com/donate/SoleMates2011/kimpossible

It's funny because I look at pictures of me from this past weekend and compare them to how I looked a couple of months ago, and let's be honest…I don't really look all that different, but how I feel inside is night and day different from 2 1/2 months ago when I started to become consistent with the Couch to 5K program.  Seriously, do you know what it feels like to go from heaving after 60 seconds of jogging to running a mile at ease and being able to push through over 2 miles (even if I am slightly purple at the end of that one:-)?  It's more than I've accomplished before with this type of endeavor, and of course God always does more than I can ever ask or imagine of Him to do. 

Feeling awesome inside.

Signing Out,
Kim-With-God-All-Things-Are-Possible

Happy :-)

What do you call the out-of-shape, asthmatic girl with back problems, who hasn't even attempted to run in well over a year, or hardly even worked out in about six months, but who signed up for a 5K on May 15th to run with girls from her school, so she had to start training soon so she began the couch to 5k running program outside on a wet, chilly Presidents' Day?

162605

HAPPY!

Read about my new running endeavors here and I'd be honored if you would even consider supporting me!

There are three things I really want to do in life.  Love God, love others and run.

RE-renewed

Insecurity has been haunting me lately.  For the past couple of years I haven't been so awesome at blogging, but lately I think it has a lot to do with my insecurities.  It isn't because I've been too busy, that's for sure.  In some of my busiest moments I've often found time to blog about my thoughts and experiences…but not lately.

I keep thinking, "I'd like to blog about something…" but then don't feel like I have anything to say.  How can I not have anything to say?  If you know me, you know that I always have something to say, but for some reason I don't think that what has come to mind lately will have any worth to anyone else…like this post right now.  So what's the point? 

Eh.

Today I did something I didn't think I'd ever do again.  I joined Curves.  I waste money on things to get me healthy all too often.  It's sad.  Pitiful.  Yep, keep shaking your head…I am.  But today is a new day.  I've blogged about wanting to be healthy so often, that it's almost funny to talk about this as if it's some new journey I'm on.  It's not new.  It'll never be new…again.  But it is renewed.  This past year has been awful for me, health-wise.  Simply awful.  I take responsibility though.  And so today I renew…I am renewed. 

Curves isn't my favorite type of exercise…I like to run (jog, actually, but it's running to me;).  But I can't really do that right now.  Not on the pavement.  It's really bad for my back in its current state, and I'm pretty nervous about hurting my back again.  Definitely not interested in reliving last Fall. 
What I know that Curves does though, is that it gives me the structure I need right now.  I will not likely stick with Curves after my 1 year commitment, but I need it to get me over this mountain-sized hump right now.  

Believe it or not, I lost about 20 pounds in a couple of months without exercise…but then gained a few back…because I wasn't exercising.  Gotta tame the beast.  

I don't even think I've mentioned on this blog that I get to take part in leading an incredible group of leaders and students called Elevate.  It pretty much rocks. ;)  I love it.  We're in a foundational series called  MADE.  We are MADE…in His image…created to love our God…to be attentive to Him, and be changed by Him.  Got to speak in Elevate a few months ago, and the motto of the night was, "He made me.  He loves me."  Good stuff.

Love this Message paraphrase of Romans 12.1-2:

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday,
ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around
life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for
you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted
to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead,
fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out.
Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.
Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of
immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed
maturity in you.


Head the Warning Signs

We all have our stories.  And this blog is all about mine. 🙂  First I'd like to share some warning signs…Click on them to read them…

Helpdesk Warningsign  Moose warning sign 300Warning_Sign_by_SouthernDesigner

 So I had a number of occasions over the last 6 months where I had this immense pain in my upper abdominal area, into my pain, that almost sent me to the hospital a few times.  I had my suspicions as to what it might be and made an appointment with a gastro-doctor-guy.  He told me this past Monday that I was most likely right-gallstones.  Yippee!  I needed one more thing wrong with me!  He set me up to have some tests done to check whether it's for sure, and also to check for some other possibilities.  The other possibilities did come true, and I'll find out about the gallstone thing next week.  It's official-Ihave some lovely stomach issues that I hadn't even anticipated!

As I've been contemplating these little issues that are killing my old diet (literally everything that I truly enjoy eating more than anything is on the "avoid these foods" list), I've been wondering how long I would've dealt with them had I not had the severe pain of the probable gallstones.  I hadn't been feeling anything but minor heartburn…but really, what's a little heartburn every now and then?  Octopus-warning-sign  

Everything that I read about online to see how to treat and deal with these issues tells me that others always know when they're flaring up, or whatnot, but I hardly ever notice anything wrong!  That is, until yesterday.

Both yesterday and today I have actually noticed some stomachaches!  Once I thought about them I realized that I have felt this sickness for months, but literallyTurnDrownWarningSign   never really noticed it much!  I just must've gotten used to that awful feeling…and now it's gotten a lot worse than if I'd noticed it right away!

So I can't help but compare this to sin.  This is not a new message and I don't know that it will wreck someone's life in a good way, but at the same time, I can't help but think of the correlation!  What happens when I ignore the little signs that something is wrong with my thought life, or my actions, or my words?  What happens when I ignore the my gut that the Holy Spirit wants to use me in a situation?  What happens when I ignore what Scripture is screaming out to me to change?  The same thing that happens when I ignore the little signs that something is wrong with my stomach…ulcers and acid reflux of my spiritual heart. 

Warning_sign  And what do I have to do now?  Change my diet.  All the things that I enjoy-cheese, chocolate, tomatoes, mochas, ah, the list goes on…they all have to be eliminated for some time, and then only enjoyed every now and then once my insides have healed significantly.  If only I hadn't ignored the warning signs…If only I hadn't become so numb to this crappy feeling in my stomach that was trying to tell me I've been sick.  Then maybe I wouldn't have to spend an arm and a leg on all this medical treatment.  If only…

I cannot live with regret, but I can live with a better, more disciplined plan for the present and future.  And so it is with life.  Look to the past to change the future.  Here's to paying attention to the warning signs, both in my tummy and in my life.  We need to choose the things that will makeWarning-sign us healthy, inside and out.

James 5.13-15  Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing. Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master. Believing-prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you've sinned, you'll be forgiven—healed inside and out.

1 mph

1.  I am still alive

2.  Apparently I have changed my mind and would like to really start Twittering

3.  My back is getting much better (to anyone that doesn't know, I've been almost out of commission for 4 weeks now with 2 herniated discs).  I finally was able to start physical therapy last week, and I think it's helping.

4.  Still not back to work:(  And I found out (in an odd way) that I was no longer going to be teaching 4th grade reading(I completely agree with the decision, because the kids desperately need a consistent reading teacher.  With us being unsure of when I'll actually be able to go back, we don't know what I'll be doing exactly.  Maybe this is a blessing in disguise?  More on this another time.

5.  Dad is doing better with the knee surgery.  He's at home now, getting physical therapy there.

6.  I've developed some insomnia that is beginning to drive me crazy.  A few days ago I didn't fall asleep until around 6:15am.

7.  Both of my roommates are originally from Miami.  One of them is living out of Florida for the first time this year, and thinks that the temperature here is "bitter cold".  Yea, it barely gets "bitter cold" in Virginia…and really, not-so-much in September. (Sorry Vanessa:)

8.  My other roommate, Kristy, has mango and avocado trees in her dad's backyard down in Miami.  He regularly sends her picked fruit.  YUM!  I tore into a ginormous avocado today.  I will need to share a picture, just to cause you to salivate.  :0P

9.  (Back to my back for a second…)  I am now going to the YMCA, not to run as I would like, but to walk…1mph for 30 minutes a day.  It's quite a site!  One lady thought she was being encouraging when she basically told me to "keep at it" and "the exercise will get easier".  It certainly doesn't help that I don't look like I've exercised in about 2 years (which I have, just inconsistently), so onlookers think I'm just a poor schlubb who is finally doing something.  I want to design a t-shirt to wear that says, "Listen, don't judge me and my 1mph!  Before I got hurt I was doing a lot more than this…A LOT, actually!  And I was beginning to train for a 5K that I will not be attending to in a couple of weeks here.  So BACK OFF!  And stop looking at me like that."  Do you think that would look good in maybe a nice brown T, or perhaps navy, with white writing?  I could have a picture of my spine with two red, radiating discs down at the bottom, with arrows saying, "See this?  IT HURTS!"

10.  I need to get over the whole thing at the Y.  I think writing it out was theraputic.  Thanks for listening.

11.  The Sunday before "the back crisis" truly began, I visited a church that I think I'll stick with.  The pastor says many things that remind me of an old favorite, and strangely is even cornier than the former.  It's actually kind of amazing.  But I really connect with the vision of the church…it's actually very familiar.  www.dcmetrochurch.org  Check it out!  I can't wait to feel a bit more normal, physically-enough to really try to connect with people in a small group setting.  Maybe next week?

12.  One of my new favorite shows is a BBC show, based in Scotland.  It's called Monarch of the Glen, and is actually no longer on the air.  Kristy, the roommate with the avocados, absolutely loves this show and shared it with me during my first week of being almost completely bed-ridden.  Watched all 7 seasons in 1 week.  It's unlike any show that I've ever actually liked…drama, humor, culture (I never knew anything about Scotland, other than what I learned through Braveheart:)

13.  I wish I could visit my family…so close, yet so far away right now.

14.  I wish I could see some friends-other than my roommates, who have been amazing to me!!!

15.  Turned 30 a week and a half ago.  Had a great day…although it felt very strange to not spend it with my usual set of friends in Michigan.  Vanessa-roommate decorated my room with balloons and streamers while I was at the chiropractor, and bought me Q'doba for dinner (with a birthday brownie).  

16.  Truly learning more about patience right now…and that I have VERY little of it.  So many "why" questions run through my head on a fairly regular basis.  The root of them has at least changed from being full of pity, and they've become a bit more inquisitive.  Why did I move here again?  Why am I out of work?  Why did this happen NOW?  Why can't I fully recover more quickly?  Why did…the list goes on. I'll tell you what though, I have developed more compassion for people in various situations dealing with pain, back problems, healthcare/insurance, joblessness, financial issues, loneliness/isolation….

17.  Overall, I'm doing well.  Honestly, I am.  I have learned that things could be a lot worse.  They actually have potential to get a lot worse.  What can I do?  I need to trust Jesus, and that God will give me wisdom as I make decisions everyday.  Sure, it's 3:20am, and I don't feel tired enough to sleep…but I'm okay.  I really am.

18.  Taking the GRE on October 17.  As I study, I'm actually getting nervous about it.  Apparently I'm really not so great with analogies!…and some of the reading comprehension questions (what do I teach again?)

19.  Trying to get into George Washington University for their spring semester to start taking classes.  I'll be shooting for a Masters in Educational Leadership and Administration.  

20.  Allow me to leave you with one last thought.  Even in your most isolated moments, how can God use you to invest into others?  This has been a thought running through my head, and I'm not sure that I have the best answer to that.  Something needs to change though…and soon.  Chew on it.

And…good morning!  "His mercies are new every morning."

The Heart

I HEART blogging, although you'd never know it these days!  I HEART my family, my friends, Michigan, teaching and love.  Our hearts are such strong organs, and they keep us going.  When it stops, we stop.  We do things to protect it from becoming diseased and to keep it from failing us.  There are times that no matter what, it hurts though, both physically and spiritually.  We take risks with it, and at times it becomes wounded…at no one's fault, really, except the enemy of our hearts.  I see it, I experience it…I know it's true. 

Keep vigilant watch over your heart;
   that's where life starts.

Proverbs 4.23

I have to think that if it's where life starts, it's also where life ceases to exist.  Being vigilant about protecting that wonderful part of me that is the reason behind all the relationships and missions in my life.  Ugh…the thought of my heart becoming so spiritually diseased that it becomes virtually useless is a terrible, terrible idea to ponder, but ponder I must. 

What makes a person go on a diet and decide to exercise?  The threat of disease and death.  What makes a person decide to guard over her heart in thought and action.  The threat of ruthless loneliness.

Contributing in the Name Of

In August of 2004, some "genius" decided that I would be a good candidate to teach 2nd grade in Detroit.  He had no idea what he was getting himself into by hiring me…and neither did I.  This guy held a couple of leadership roles at that first school when I was there, but basically, he was my boss.  Our school shut down and we all parted ways…but this school year, my former boss, Paddock (we go by last names at our school) came on as our Vice Principal.  This has been a very cool thing for so many reasons, none of which I will delve into right now.  But this is where I’m headed at the moment…Paddock’s father passed away the other night after battling with lung cancer.  I can see that it’s been a tough thing for him and his family to journey through.  For whom wouldn’t it be?  We were informed today that if we wanted to, we could make contributions to the American Cancer Society, in his name.  It struck a thought with me…

So Mr. Paddock passed away due to lung cancer, and they’d like contributions to something that could potentially help someone like him in the future.

If I passed into eternity, where would I like contributions to be made?  I haven’t come to my conclusion quite yet, but here are a few ponderings.

I love giving to missions (aka people who serve Jesus by serving others…well, that should be all followers of Jesus…but more specifically, those who are depending on others to support them financially and prayerfully).  That’s a definite possibility.

You can’t deny the fact that I love kids and teaching, so it would also make perfect sense if I wanted donations made to the school I work with, or for there to be a one time scholarship made to a current student of mine at the time (or even former student of mine). 

Also in light of my love for teaching and literacy, wouldn’t it be cool for people to donate books in my name to kids in poverty?  It would have to be tagged with my life testimony or something though…

Cancer has reared its ugly face in my family (most recently with my mom’s sister who was just told that she had cervical cancer and only a few months to live), so I could very well like to also give to the American Cancer Society.

What am I most passionate about that needs money?  I’m not ready to answer that question just yet, although to be honest, the book thing made my heart beat a little bit faster.  I don’t know though.  It’s an interesting thing to think about though, huh?

Monthly Marathon

In pursuit (again) of being healthier…I’ve been inspired to complete a marathon a month.  Don’t worry, I haven’t gone off the deep end and gone crazy…

Over the course of a month, I will pursue walking/jogging 26.2 miles.  This should be doable, right?  Pray for me.  I’ll let you know how that goes:) 

Hey, if anyone else wants to make that goal, we could definitely pursue that goal together…if you want to add biking in there too, you can.

A Moment to Ramble

How do you even jump back into blogging when you haven’t done it in so long?  Wow.  It has certainly been a stretch these past couple of months.  Just when I think I’m about to start to really de-stress, something else comes along.  Eh, that’s life. 

I really miss writing, although I have been writing some-just not here for everyone to see.  I kind of felt the need to not write for everyone to see for a little bit and gain some of my own perspective on some life stuff.  You know, the stuff that only God can really help me with anyway. 

So here I am, rambling on about how I haven’t written for awhile.  Give me some time, I don’t have anything profound to share at the moment…or even really funny.  But I will tell you about the last week or so….

I did get to spend my Thanksgiving break with my brother, Dave, and his family, in Chicago.  Stephanie’s parents were there too, and that certainly added to the enjoyment.  Anthony and Angie Sorbo…one was a church planter and Bible school builder in Indonesia for 50 years and the other was a church planter’s wife for about 30 years, I guess.  Angie was also the Pennsylvania/Delaware District Missionettes Coordinator, and when I was a little girl, she was one of my heroes.  That’s an entirely different story, but nonetheless, I got to hang out with some heroes.  Good times. 🙂

Ryder is getting bigger and funnier, Ross is getting better at soccer and Robert is actually getting smarter…who’s 12 going on 16.  What’s up with teenagers anyway?  Today’s newest update is that Ross has a new email address, so we’ve already emailed several times this evening, and I’ve even introduced him to chatting online (did I mention he’ll be 8 in February?).

Mom gave us a HUGE scare on Thursday when my dad had to call 911 to rush her to the hospital because she wasn’t conscious.  It’s a long story, but PRAISE GOD, she got out of the hospital yesterday and she seems to be doing much better.  Her heart rate is a bit abnormal, so please pray for her complete healing.  She’s been working hard to get healthy…

Funny story about her heartbeat though…So she was telling me that when the nurse put her in her new room (from ICU), she had noted that she could see Target from the window.  My mom’s heartbeat immediately sped up when she realized that and the nurse said, "Well, I can see where you’d rather be today!"  My mom’s response was, "Yeah, the worst part about me being in the hospital is that I’m missing all my good sales!"  Well, folks, that’s my mother for ya!  I’ll be praying that God gives her even better sales than she would’ve had before.  He would honor that kind of stewardship, right? :0)

In talking with her today, she inspired me in a healthy way.  I’ve not been doing so well with all of my health goals…well, with any of them.  I get so discouraged and that really stinks.  I can actually sit there and read The Word and reject encouragement about my issues.  Now, that really stinks!  So I’ve been praying through this…crying through this…and coming up and down over this.  Then I talk with my mother today, while I was in the grocery store, and I feel inspired!  So I dragged myself back to the produce section, which I originally sped through, and bought some great stuff to make vegetable soup.  Well, it’s a start…again.  I wish I was as patient with my own failure as God is with me…then again, I’ll never quite reach God’s potential.  Still, it’s something to shoot for.

Lately I’ve had some tough walls to push through, and thankfully, I’ve pushed through many of them.  They have to do with several areas of my life, not just one or two, but somehow they all intertwine into ME.  I’ve seen sides of me that I don’t like and sides of me that I’m shocked by.  Moments of bravery and confidence have come out of nowhere and insecurities attack when least expected.  Let’s just call my life, Cedar Point, and hopefully that makes some sense.  Through every moment of sick desperation and ugly depression I want holy moments to arise.  I want missional moments to bring life to dead moments and I want to seize opportunities of hope.  There are few things more certain than hope, as it comes to life from the grave!  Deep hope and trust arise from deep places of gravity…but only if we allow them to.  This is key.  Staying in the deep places of gravity too long will lesson our senses to the true hope of the Cross.  We become numb to the Cross and it’s purpose in the world…in our lives.  It distorts our desire for community with others and fabricates something else…something that was never intended for us.

Jesus.  He is the focus.  Who He is…this is what draws us from the depth of our graves to the depth of the presence of the Holy Spirit.  Wait in His presence.  Wait.