Journey

60 Things

In honor of both my dad, who just turned 60 yesterday, and my mom, who turned 60 last September, here are the top 60 things I love about my parents…

60.  together they had the best daughter ever:)
59.  they gave me two awesome big brothers
58.  they love me like crazy
57.  they’re very hard workers and taught me to be a hard worker
56.  my dad worked at a publishing company when i was little and bought me books home from work all the time
55.  my mom is the best cook
54.  take a look at me…i am my mother’s daughter, for sure
53.  see my passion…i’m also my father’s daughter, for sure
52.  they’ve been married since 1969 (it’ll be 37 years in June)
51.  they always made sure i went to church
50.  my mom was my Missionettes leader
49.  my dad was a Sunday School teacher
48.  my mom prayed with me before school
47.  at one time they allowed me to take a train to Pittsburgh all by myself (i was 14!)
46.  my dad gets teary-eyed every time I leave
45.  i have to take a deep breathe before i hug my dad because he doesn’t want to let go
44.  they trusted me in high school
43.  they’ve forgiven me for every time i was dishonest to them as a child
42.  they’ve forgiven me for the times that i hurt them
41.  they sometimes pay for me to come visit them
40.  my dad calls to sing the Eagles fight song on my voicemail
39.  my mom gets hilarious when we play games with our whole family (she laughs so hard, it’s hard to contain yourself just watching her)
38.  "Momisms" like how she says…"duffle bag" as "duffie bag" or "balsamic vinegar" as "baslamic vinegar"…one of my all-time favorites-"Chuck E Cheese" is "Chunky Cheese" to my mom:)
37.  "Hot-hands Burton"-my mom can touch any hot dish, right out of the oven without burning herself!  it’s really amazing
36.  my dad’s love for his cat, Robbie
35.  my dad’s patriotism
34.  the way my dad draws a Robbie, the cat, "stamp" on every family birthday/holiday card sent out or given…you really have to see it to appreciate it
33.  the way my dad labels every picture/character on all my birthday cards
32.  my mom always gets me a manicure and/or pedicure for Christmas
31.  when one of my best friends made a video all about me "the kim video", my parents watched it several times and then made other people watch it…
30.  my mom has gotten so many awards at Cardone Industries, where she works (I pretty sure she might take over the company someday)
29.  how much my dad loves to see my pictures-I got his eye for pictures, you know
28.  i love it that when they visited me a year ago, they connected with one of my favorite teens, Casey (my mom was trying to kill him in Uno:)
27.  i love it that my dad comments on my blog
26.  and that my mom actually reads it now!
25.  i love it that i get to share my birthday with my mom
24.  my dad is a huge Philadelphia team fan and tries to keep me in the loop of what’s going on
23.  dad usually knows Detroit weather before I do because he checks it almost everyday
22.  they encourage me
21.  they are so proud of me and that makes me smile
20.  they ache to see my nephews play ball (they really love their grandkids and want to be with them!)
19.  they’re going to move to the midwest someday soon (oh, wait, that’s what i’m hoping for:)
18.  they send me a gift on Valentine’s Day:)-hopefully someday someone else will take care of that
17.  my parents hate the game, Cranium, but will play it with us because us kids love it
16. i love it that my mom actually figured out how to forward a message on her cell phone!  this is very big

15.  my mom knows that I typically need a Philly cheesesteak asap when I go home to visit

14.  my dad passed along his sweettoothe to me

13.  when I would fight with my brothers when I was little, I was always right:)

12.  they let me go far away to college-and didn’t make any bones about it

11.  they’ve allowed God to change them (aren’t we all glad that God does that in our lives?)

10.  they haven’t just gotten older, they’ve grown

9.    they support me in everything that I do!

8.    they make me miss them….

7.    they’ve listened to my stories (my many, many stories)

6.    they always made sure that I met my responsibilities to my church ministries growing up

5.  they took me to church the night I asked Jesus into my heart (and made sure that I told my pastor about it afterward)

4.  they allowed friends to be important in my life

3.  they disciplined me

2.  they put the Word into my hands as a child

1.  God gave them to me!

I truly love my parents, for even more reasons than these.  God loves us so much that He puts in the best places in which we’ll grow to become more like Him.  I’m thankful for my parents, who love me more than I can probably imagine.  And I hope that they have stepped into their 61st year of life with the best yet to come. 

Love you, Mom and Dad!  -Kimberly

Sent to Detroit

I love to tell the story of how I came to be where I am now.  Walking through a chain of events thatDetroit_1
God gracefully orchestrated has been a fantastic experience.

People will ask me where I’m from.  My response is usually something like this:  "Well, I’m from Philadelphia, but I went to college in Minneapolis, and now I live here!"  Others usually respond with a raised eyebrow and, "What brought you here?"  At this point I love to share the simple story of how God sent me here.  Until recently I didn’t fully get the concept of that, but now I feel like I have a better understanding of God’s plan.

***Allow me to interject the short story…I moved here to live with a friend, who was doing an internship, after graduation from NCU, but I was only going to stay for the summer.  My plans were to move back to Minneapolis in August but God directed my heart to stay.  It felt kind of crazy.  I didn’t have a job or a permanent place to live…what on earth was I going to do in Michigan?  I knew a few people and I had a great church, but what were they really going to do for me?  I still wasn’t going to be close to my family or any of my best friends…they all stayed in Minneapolis, where I was going to be.  God took me out of the comfort zone of the city I’d come to love, the college-life I’d become so distinctly apart of, and my large circle of close friends to be…in Detroit***

We’ve been talking about Jonah at Church of the King these past few weeks.  We’ve been looking at how Jonah was sent by God to a sin-filled place called Ninevah (yeah, yeah, yeah, a big whale…heard that story in Sunday School when I was 5).  But the perspective that Jonah was a missionary who lacked compassion for a city that needed God’s grace, just as much as he did, is not one I had the comprehension for as a five-year-old.  God sent Jonah (and he eventually went).  God sent Jesus.  God has sent me…to Detroit.

We’ve been talking about how God is sending us from our homes into our neighborhoods, our families, our jobs, our supermarkets, our malls-everywhere in our city-to be disciples in the most Jesus-like fashion we can.  I guess the funny thing is that I began to realize, a few weeks ago as I was telling my story once again, that God sent me from Philly, via Minneapolis, to Detroit. 

It almost seems silly that I didn’t get it before, after having told that story a hundred times, but it has finally hit me.  I am a missionary who left my family to go to an unfamiliar place, by myself, to see a city transformed in the name of Jesus. 

You know, I asked Jesus to be the Leader of my life when I was 7, during a missions convention at my church.  There were missionaries from Tunisia, whose son was dressed as a camel :), who prayed with me that night.  Until my recent years, when I thought of missionaries I thought of people like them.  Missionaries, to me, were people that travelled to other countries, ate scary food, learned to speak another language and dressed up in camel costumes!  Fortunately, God has expanded my thoughts of missionaries to look like people with red hair and freckles, who live in Southfield, Michigan and work in Hamtramck.

Perspective is a good thing.  I’m glad that Jesus is sharing more and more of His perspective with me about my life and my purpose these days.  I’m called to Metro-Detroit and unless He says, "Move," I’m here to stay.  I’m called to my church and I want to see it grow and mature.  I’m called to be a part of church planting here, however God chooses to use me in that.  I’m called to teach and I desire to see transformation happen through my students as they grow up to be future leaders in our city (that’s what I pray for them!).  I’m called to live in Southfield-I know that because I look different than everyone that lives around me and I love that:)

Temptation to leave comes , but I just won’t listen, because I know that I’m called here…voices tell me about things like better paying jobs, "nicer" city, better schools, lower taxes, bigger churches…but they simply don’t compare to being exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing exactly what I’m supposed to do. 🙂  It’s truly amazing!

Freedom to Fail

I read an e-votional this morning with this story and thought I’d share it. 

A young man of
thirty-two was appointed President of a large, well-established bank.
He’d never dreamed he would be president, much less at such a young
age. Therefore, he approached the Chairman of the Board, a man known
for his wisdom, and asked, "You know, I’ve just been appointed
President. I was wondering if you could give me some advice." The old
man came back with just two words, "Right decisions!" The young man had
hoped for a bit more than this, so he said, "That’s really helpful, and
I appreciate it, but can you be more specific? How do I make right
decisions?" The wise old man simply responded,
"Experience." The young man said, "Well, that’s why I am here. I don’t
have the kind of experience I need. How do I get it?" The final and
somewhat terse reply came, "Wrong decisions!"

Ever since I was in
junior high I’ve always loved to be in charge of something.  Some might
think that means I like to be bossy, others might say "in control" and
others might recognize that as leadership.  I suppose each one could
certainly be true in its own way, but I’d like to think that over time
people (usually pastors) in my life were developing me to be a leader,
and not to be bossy or in control.  (Perhaps they saw something in
me:)  I’m grateful for all the learning environments I’ve been blessed
with these past fourteen years. 

One of the greatest things about these environments has been the freedom to fail…to learn through making wrong decisions.  Nobody wants to make wrong decisions, but unfortunately, for me at least, I make my fair share of them.  Just yesterday someone asked me, point blank, how my prayer life for my ministry was going.  I had to be honest and say that it hasn’t been what it should’ve been…wrong decision.  Oh, it wasn’t a wrong decision that I shared it, but it was a wrong decision to let my prayers shrink in my life (and for something I’m so passionate about!).  He could’ve told me what an awful leader I’d been because of that and that he needed to find someone better to lead that ministry, but I’m grateful to know that I’ve been given the freedom to fail…I definitely need to come back strong though. 

It’s good for me to have people in my life who allow room for this type of freedom.  I think it’s often hard to allow ourselves to have this.  Even if we’re not perfectionists (which I’m not), we don’t want to fail.  We don’t want to fall down.  We want to do it right the first time around and not have to go back to the starting line.  The fact of the matter is that if we never allow ourselves the freedom to fail we will go through life dragging ourselves around with a "woe is me, I’m a failure…nobody should want to be around a failure such as I" attitude…and we’ll never take God-ordained risks.

In conclusion (this is how my students would start a closing paragraph;), try not to fail, but liberate yourself from the fear of wrong decisions.  Even as I read that last sentence, it’s much easier said than done, but aren’t you glad that God can be the source our "trying not to fail"?  🙂 

Have an awesomely, freeing day.

Fear of Complacency

That’s pretty cool, but it scares me that I could become complacent,
because I certainly can’t afford to lose all that I’ve struggled
through over complacency.

I just wrote that in an email to someone about something I’m going through.  For a snowy, Sunday afternoon in April, I feel as if that’s the most profound thing I’ll say today.  I’ve had a really hard time coming up with meaningful things to write about these past couple of weeks.  Nothing has flowed well at all.  Confusion, doubt, disorientation…they’re the things that have kept me from sharing, but I think it’s these things that keep me from becoming complacent at the same time.  Wrestling through them keeps me going back to the cross and the "reckless love of God", as Brad preached about this morning.  What else is there to turn to?  He is so consistent.  He helps me to turn from that complacency and continue to develop consistency.  God does not cause confusion, doubt or disorientation, but He knows how to use them effectively…and I think He also utilizes a healthy fear of complacency too.

Wounds

"What’s worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful, or old wounds that should’ve healed years ago and never did?"-Meredith Grey

When wounds pile up, healing takes awhile. 

Wounds (old or new) + Jesus (and maybe some time) = Healing

Healing

"You’re a better person healed than you would’ve been well."-Beth Moore

(I heard someone quote this today and felt that it was a yet another great reminder of God making something of us through the different processes we experience.)

Long Enough

Do you ever feel like this?

Psalm 13 (The Message)

 

1-2 Long enough, God— you’ve ignored me long enough.
   I’ve looked at the back of your head
      long enough. Long enough
   I’ve carried this ton of trouble,
      lived with a stomach full of pain.
   Long enough my arrogant enemies
      have looked down their noses at me.

3-4 Take a good look at me, God, my God;
      I want to look life in the eye,
   So no enemy can get the best of me
      or laugh when I fall on my face.

5-6 I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—
      I’m celebrating your rescue.
   I’m singing at the top of my lungs,
      I’m so full of answered prayers.

Sometimes when I read passages of Scripture like this I think, "Who am I to tell God what I think?"-especially when I’m telling Him that enough is enough.  But when I shrink back from expressing my frustrations and  anxiety  to Him, I miss out  on Him helping me through the process.  God is not scared of what I feel or have to say to Him.  He can handle it.  Plus, His desire is for me to go through the processes that cause me to grow stronger in Him, through His hope and answers to prayer.  I’m glad that God doesn’t want me to shrink back in fear every time a tough issue comes up.  It’s encouraging to know that He is my Knight in shining armor, rescuing me when I’m hurt, confused and frustrated.  Other tough issues that I sometimes deal with are things like:  ministry, how to help those struggling with homosexuality, helping those with addictions and even the Trinity (I thank God that I have a pastor who will preach on the tough issues). 

I find it interesting that God likes me as much as He does, because I shrink back, I fail and I fall on my face often enough.  But when I’m on my face, I’m on my knees, and I guess in the end that’s a great place to be.

Psalm 18

1-2 I love you, God— you make me strong.
   God is bedrock under my feet,
      the castle in which I live,
      my rescuing knight.
   My God—the high crag
      where I run for dear life,
      hiding behind the boulders,
      safe in the granite hideout.

3 I sing to God, the Praise-Lofty,
      and find myself safe and saved.

Time Management Tip #1

GIVE GOD YOUR SCHEDULE!

Seriously, after feeling extremely unfocused and frustrated with myself (for weeks, now), I decided to do something "drastic" on Monday.  I made some changes for the day and gave God my schedule.  I told Him that I couldn’t figure out how to do everything that I needed to do this week, that I couldn’t fix it on my own and that I needed Him to help me. 

Tonight I sit blown away at how He totally blessed me with time to work on things that I wasn’t going to have the time to work on (in the form of a random "extra substitute teacher" that they accidentally got because she went to wrong school this morning…and they gave me a sub for the day!…really).  It truly blows my mind.  Today that was equivalent to needing $1,509.14 to pay a bill and getting a check in the mail for exactly $1,509.14 the day before that bill was due.

I like God a lot. 🙂

Details

This morning I was reading some Scripture in Exodus, where all the instructions were given for the temple and the ark of the covenant to be built.  To be completely honest, I was sleepy and getting a bit bored.  So I stopped and said, "Okay, God, I need You to show me how to you want to impact and change my life through this."  Then I got back to reading.

Within a minute I realized just how detailed God was about this whole process.  He showed me that the details mattered to Him, just as much as they mattered to me.  God has detailed plans about my life that He is instructing me on, and I believe He’s even instructing those around me on, at perhaps a different level.  He really cares about the details in regards to the building of my heart and my life…I need to trust Him and follow His instructions.

He continues to pursue my heart to trust Him and that blows me away.

Updates are good:)

Nothing in particular, just a post for my memoir:)

1.)Today was a great day for a snow day:)  I didn’t go into Hamtramck to work but I did go into (you guessed it!) Caribou to work.  Unfortunately I didn’t gravitate to my large stack of papers to grade, but I worked with my friend, and co-worker, Dana on our School Improvement Plan.  I probably haven’t mentioned this before, but I recently became the chair for our School Improvment Committee at school.  The is the biggest job-related committee that I’ve ever led and it’s more like a second part-time job…just what I needed, something else to do:)  I really do love it though.

The Michigan Department of Education is often unrealistic with it’s goals for us but in order to exist, we comply.  My hope is that God will use me at Hanley to cast vision for us to not only comply with the regulations, but to excel above them.  So far that task has been a bit overwhelming (what’s new:).  We are setting out to write a School Improvement Plan…and then implement it.  Honestly, it stresses me out a bit when I think about it, but if I’m going to be here to work I want to be an impact.  And so that’s why I love it that I get to do this.  It’s a ton of extra work…a ton…and I hold more responsibility than I personally think I should, but growth will come as I walk through this-holding God’s hand, of course.

In saying that, I don’t mean to compartmentalize God’s "role" in my life…but I do sometimes.  Honestly, I’ve only prayed about the school improvement thing once…and the rest I’ve done on my own.  Gee, I’m thinking there’s something wrong with that picture.  Hmmm.  My heart is heavy right now over a few things, with this being one of them. 

2.) I’m quitting Curves.  This is very shocking to a few people, but it really just needs to happen.  The good news about that though, is that I joined a different gym.  I’m pretty excited about it too-change can be an awesome thing.  I’m going to have a personal trainer and she’s going to basically tell me what to do.  Last night was the first session-it was actually a trial day.  My lower body’s a bit sore, but I feel great today!  Then this morning I went and jogged a full mile (yes, I am definitely moving towards accomplishing my running goals:). 

God continues to challenge me physically.  He’s my best cheerleader and my biggest fan.  I’m glad He’s also put a few others in my life who extend His cheering for me.  It really helps me through some tough moments.

3.)Do you ever have days/weeks where you don’t think you have enough time to spend with Jesus?  I’ve been going through that this past week.  How illogical is that?  God holds time in His hands.  He shaped it and formed it.  I really need Him to direct my schedule…somehow I think He’d do that better than me.  So, I’m sitting here writing, but I miss Him…and I think I need to go spend some time with Him.  It is Valentine’s Day, and He is the hottest date I could possibly have, right?   So, good night, and Happy Valentine’s Day.  Hope you spent time with the One who loves you the most.