Memoirs of a Redhead

Do you ever feel like this?

Psalm 13 (The Message)

1-2 Long enough, God— you’ve ignored me long enough.
   I’ve looked at the back of your head
      long enough. Long enough
   I’ve carried this ton of trouble,
      lived with a stomach full of pain.
   Long enough my arrogant enemies
      have looked down their noses at me.

3-4 Take a good look at me, God, my God;
      I want to look life in the eye,
   So no enemy can get the best of me
      or laugh when I fall on my face.

5-6 I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—
      I’m celebrating your rescue.
   I’m singing at the top of my lungs,
      I’m so full of answered prayers.

Sometimes when I read passages of Scripture like this I think, "Who am I to tell God what I think?"-especially when I’m telling Him that enough is enough.  But when I shrink back from expressing my frustrations and  anxiety  to Him, I miss out  on Him helping me through the process.  God is not scared of what I feel or have to say to Him.  He can handle it.  Plus, His desire is for me to go through the processes that cause me to grow stronger in Him, through His hope and answers to prayer.  I’m glad that God doesn’t want me to shrink back in fear every time a tough issue comes up.  It’s encouraging to know that He is my Knight in shining armor, rescuing me when I’m hurt, confused and frustrated.  Other tough issues that I sometimes deal with are things like:  ministry, how to help those struggling with homosexuality, helping those with addictions and even the Trinity (I thank God that I have a pastor who will preach on the tough issues). 

I find it interesting that God likes me as much as He does, because I shrink back, I fail and I fall on my face often enough.  But when I’m on my face, I’m on my knees, and I guess in the end that’s a great place to be.

Psalm 18

1-2 I love you, God— you make me strong.
   God is bedrock under my feet,
      the castle in which I live,
      my rescuing knight.
   My God—the high crag
      where I run for dear life,
      hiding behind the boulders,
      safe in the granite hideout.

3 I sing to God, the Praise-Lofty,
      and find myself safe and saved.