My Accent, Part Dos

Five and half years ago I posted about my accent, revealing that I no longer had one.  From PHILly, but lived in MinneSOHta and MichigAN for 12 years wrecked my accent quite a bit.  Nonetheless, I was still holding it down with the Philadelphian in me a little bit according to that test.

Just did the same exact test this afternoon to find that I still don't have much of a distinct accent, but…

Accent shot

…THE SOUTH HAS OVERTAKEN ME!  And all my Lousiana, Jacksonville, Georgia, Tennesee, Texas friends said…Amen.  This is what moving to Virginia has done to, for, to me.  I just go around picking up little pieces of other people's accents all the time…Hot mess.

She-Rah, Sighing and a Stallion

Recently I had the privilege of praying with some of my beautiful prayer warrior friends.  One of them, I even call She-Rah:  Prayer Warrior Princess.  We are a part of a team at our church that gets to do personal prayer ministry with individuals.  One and a half to two hours, just for one person.  A long time ago God began using people to teach me about "the one".  Jesus cares about everyONE.  He wants us to invest in the ONE.  I love this ministry because I get to focus on just one person at a time-to honor and care for in prayer.  There are few places I'd rather be on those nights.

Sometimes our team gets together to do some training and practice.  The other night these warrior princesses in my life ministered to me for a brief time during our practice.  One person was leading that part and the rest of us were to ask a question:  "Jesus, what lie am I believing about you?"  I wasn't feeling well that night, so I had already decided that I wasn't really going to participate.  (I live in a land called "Of Course", where God does things that I wouldn't have necessarily seen happening, but Daddy knows best and just goes for it.  Because I choose to submit to Him-many times ;-)- He brings me along for a ride anyway!)  So…of course I was the first person to get an answer, and that meant that I was the one that was supposed to receive ministry in that session.  (sigh)

Literally, I sighed.  

Loud.  

I didn't feel like participating.  I just wanted to look in from the outside and coach them through it.  

But, no.  Jesus wanted to dispell a lie.

In my open-book transparency, I often still censor what I'm sharing with the world for good reason. Everyone just doesn't need to know everything, and there are plenty of women in my life with whom I share life with.  For some reason though, this month has been highlighted to me as "Singles Awareness Month" @ my church (not really, but it just feels like it is) and I thought I'd share some thoughts for the sake of amazing women in my life.

The lie.  "You think that I'm always going to be just your friend, but that I'm never going to be your groom."

Boom.

Story of my freakin' life.  How often do I say it?  "I'm always the friend, but never the bride."  "He thinks I'm such an incredible woman…sucks I'm not attractive enough."  "I'll have great guy friends until the day I die…but am I ever going to have a husband?"

There I said it.  

But does that really mean that because I've thought those things that I really don't think that Jesus is going to be my groom?  The Bible tells us that Jesus is coming back someday, and that he is coming back for his bride.  I believe that.  I believe that Jesus is the ultimate Groom and that someday I will be with him in Heaven.  I also believe that He's my friend; I've a friend in Jesus. (Click for a belly laugh).  

What Jesus was telling me was that deep down I am actually relating my expectation of Him to my wonderings about whether I'll ever go from "awesome, incredible, amazing, sister in Christ" to bride.  I just didn't think I was doing that…until I asked. Dang those questions!  

So in this prayer session with my friends, I asked Jesus if there was anyone I needed to forgive for this lie being in my life.  Together we walked through a couple of items there and then I gave that unforgiveness and frustration to Him.  I asked Him what he would give me in exchange for that junk and do you know what he gave me?  

Bay-Azteca-Stallion (Original image)

Yes, He did.  He gave me a stallion.

So I can wonder all I want to, whether I will ever make the transition from "amazing friend" to a bride someday, but I don't really have to.  All that does is feed a lie that I already got rid of.  I have to admit, it's still hard to believe.  Really.  But I choose to believe that my stallion is out there-or right around the corner; I have no clue.  

In the meanwhile, I will continue to be aware of my singlesness because I can't seem to get away from it…at all.  Might as well enjoy a great message on either marriage or singleness here. (March 3, 10, 17) 😉

 

 

Hopeful New Year

About an hour ago I did wish some folks a Happy New Year.

The more I consider it though, who am I to tell people to have a happy new year?

This past year has brought quite a bit of suffering and grief to people I really love, like, barely know and many I'll never meet…why should they be required to have a Happy New Year in 2013?

This year I've…

watched some close friends tragically lose their dads

watched one of my best friends lose really important older women in her life (her MawMaw and great aunt who helped raise her)

watched a friend still not be able to get back with her separated husband

watched a good friend still not have resolution with an untruthful accusation with his job at work

watched several close women in my life miscarry…more than once

watched my sister-in-law say goodbye to one of her good friends who went into hospice the other day and pass away this morning

watched a friend go home to be with her dad as he entered hospice care

learned that the son of my sister-in-law's childhood best friend (who died 5 years ago) shot himself the other day with his best friends there

heard of tragedy after tragedy happen-just in this country-with folks losing their friends and loved ones to horrific events, due to brokenness (the government can't make broken people unbroken…never will be able to…)

learned of sick adoption issues across the world that are truly harming children

learned of more than one mom of small kids lose her husband out of nowhere

learned that just yesterday my friend's dad went to the hospital with pneumonia

watched two of my best friends say goodbye to their 2 1/2 year old little girl after a 2 1/2 year battle with sickness

and the other day I watched (from a distance) a family that I hold dear get into a horrific accident, throwing one of my favorite little freckle-faced, Irish teenagers from the car, taking away his Senior year and first year of college-here in 2013…

…seen so much pain…

I think…who am I to wish these people a Happy New Year?

Instead, I think this year I will move forward with wishing my friends and family a Hopeful New Year.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15.13

How can all of these people move forward in such great pain? It just doesn't seem to be humanly possible, but by the grace of God.  I was reflecting yesterday on how great God was this past year-in SO many ways, and also on the reality of the sorrow that SO many of my friends and family have felt.  I literally felt it yesterday-quite a heaviness.  These things are not sorrowful moments felt once and then gone.  These are moments that are felt on a daily basis.

So I will continue to pray for said-friends in my life, and those that I do not know, asking that God would make the reality of His hope apparent in their lives.  That it would push them forward 365 more times in 2013-even on the really hard days, when numbness sets in and the walls of grief are closing in on them.  I'm praying that Father God would help them put together the pieces that don't make sense and that He will bring a new level of wholeness to their lives.

Only. God.

Feel free to let me know how I can be praying with you this year.

Love,

Kim

 

You are my hiding place and my shield;
I hope in your word.

 

Psalm 119.114

 

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?  My hope is in you.

 

Psalm 39.7

I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in your words.

Psalm 119.147

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope…

Psalm 130.5

Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God…

Psalm 146.5

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Romans 8.24-25

Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

Proverbs 23.18

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Romans 12.12

 

Rubes

Today we take a few moments

to CELEBRATE

the life of a courageous little girl

whose brief touch on this earth has impacted more people

than a 2 1/2 year old typically has the chance to

We CELEBRATE

the faith that it launched in people

the depth that it dug in people

the inner healing that will continue to abound in people

We CELEBRATE

the GOODNESS of God

…because even in the midst of the pain that is felt…

He

is

still

good

We GRIEVE

for our LOSS

Yet

will continue to CELEBRATE

her GAIN 

Luse family-044

Ruby Joy (Rubes)

you were a delight to know

you were a champion

you gave me reasons to never give up hope

…to never lose heart

Through your life

mine was revived

Thank you for being a part of my life

It was a JOY to know you here

Can't wait to run with you someday

and laugh

and giggle

and dance

…let's dance together

Your legacy extends farther than any of us can see

and will last for eternity

You are a hero to me, Rubes

Love you.

 

In memory of Ruby Joy Luse

July 10, 2009-March 14, 2012

And the ransomed of the Lord shall return
and come to Zion with singing;
everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;
they shall obtain gladness and joy,
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

Isaiah 35.10

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye.

So-long-farewell-copyFor the past 2 weeks I decided to go lite on my sugar fast, which I've been on since the end of July.  I felt peace about it.  I felt like God was saying, "Kim, it's your fast.  I'm not the legalistic one here."  So, almost daily I've had some things with sugar in them, including:  specialized coffee drinks, a few cookies, some pie, and some candy.  Full disclosure…a muffin too.

Now I am sure that God said those things to me.  Why?  Because He knew that I needed a couple of weeks to see that I'm not ready to go off of my fast yet. :-)  I feel terrible….pretty sick.  Not good.  Get the picture? 

In Reading class we are learning about inferencing.  You take what the author is saying, add to it your background knowledge, and you create an inference!  Or you take what you see in a picture, add to it your background knowledge, or what you sense, and you create an inference!  So I am taking this nauseous feeling and the jittery heart beat that I keep feeling, add to it that those are awful feelings, and I create the inference that sugar really does suck for my body. 

My body is not a fan of the stuff-and it decided to show me that with the nausea, the rapid heart beat and the gaining of 6 pounds (ouch!).  2 weeks…6 pounds.  That's what adding sugar back in has done.  The funny thing is that part of that has come from the legarthy that has ensued, putting me to sit so much from being so dang tired.  Seriously.  What a domino effect.

So I'm done.  I can't do this anymore.  Sugar, you are gone again…for a very long time.  I really don't like you enough for all this.  Not. Worth. It. 

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye.