Author: rubyred110

rubyred110https://memoirsofaredhead.wordpress.com
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Spiritual Spongebob

Today is an extremely intentional day of rest.  I've been experiencing quite a bit of conviction over my
Lgfp2215+i-deserve-a-hug-spongebob-squarepants-poster time and my heart lately.  And even though it's summertime, and I'm a teacher, I've still stayed quite busy.  Too busy.  It's about to get worse. 

Yesterday some things I'd been processing for a few weeks came to a head, when my friend, Katie, read my mail last night at a prayer meeting.  Yes.  I need to rest in Jesus.  I do too much sometimes.  And when I look around at so many of my friends who are doing more than me…I need to stop and realize that it's just not who God wired me to be.  Stop comparing yourself to others.  I hate feeling lazy.  I need my heart to get it that resting in Him and saying "no" is not laziness.  Becoming a sponge again…soaking in His presence.

So I'm sitting on my bed, down in my room (I've been here all day so far, doing this)…just worshiping.  Kim Walker is belting out "He Loves Us" and I am embracing every drop His presence.  My roommate just came down to do something and she stopped.  She said, "Hmm…are you okay?  You don't just sit here.  I never see you do that.  Actually, the last time I saw you do this, you were in pain."  I smiled.  "You're not in pain, are you?"  "No." :) 

I think that pretty much sums it up. 

"And tonight, without the love of God, we're just up here making noise…but the love of God changes us and we're never the same after we encounter the love of God….and if you want to encounter the love of God right now, you better brace yourself because He's about to blow in this place!"

RE-renewed

Insecurity has been haunting me lately.  For the past couple of years I haven't been so awesome at blogging, but lately I think it has a lot to do with my insecurities.  It isn't because I've been too busy, that's for sure.  In some of my busiest moments I've often found time to blog about my thoughts and experiences…but not lately.

I keep thinking, "I'd like to blog about something…" but then don't feel like I have anything to say.  How can I not have anything to say?  If you know me, you know that I always have something to say, but for some reason I don't think that what has come to mind lately will have any worth to anyone else…like this post right now.  So what's the point? 

Eh.

Today I did something I didn't think I'd ever do again.  I joined Curves.  I waste money on things to get me healthy all too often.  It's sad.  Pitiful.  Yep, keep shaking your head…I am.  But today is a new day.  I've blogged about wanting to be healthy so often, that it's almost funny to talk about this as if it's some new journey I'm on.  It's not new.  It'll never be new…again.  But it is renewed.  This past year has been awful for me, health-wise.  Simply awful.  I take responsibility though.  And so today I renew…I am renewed. 

Curves isn't my favorite type of exercise…I like to run (jog, actually, but it's running to me;).  But I can't really do that right now.  Not on the pavement.  It's really bad for my back in its current state, and I'm pretty nervous about hurting my back again.  Definitely not interested in reliving last Fall. 
What I know that Curves does though, is that it gives me the structure I need right now.  I will not likely stick with Curves after my 1 year commitment, but I need it to get me over this mountain-sized hump right now.  

Believe it or not, I lost about 20 pounds in a couple of months without exercise…but then gained a few back…because I wasn't exercising.  Gotta tame the beast.  

I don't even think I've mentioned on this blog that I get to take part in leading an incredible group of leaders and students called Elevate.  It pretty much rocks. ;)  I love it.  We're in a foundational series called  MADE.  We are MADE…in His image…created to love our God…to be attentive to Him, and be changed by Him.  Got to speak in Elevate a few months ago, and the motto of the night was, "He made me.  He loves me."  Good stuff.

Love this Message paraphrase of Romans 12.1-2:

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday,
ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around
life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for
you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted
to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead,
fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out.
Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.
Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of
immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed
maturity in you.


More than Bunnies

Happy Easter, everybody!  I am so grateful that I get to celebrate the real deal on Easter.  

Jesus is more than bunnies, eggs, chocolate bunnies, chocolate eggs, baskets, chicks and Peeps.  While I enjoy each of these things (although not this year…see previous post) I am so glad that Jesus means more to me than all of them.  

His sacrifice is more than just a lighthearted treat.  It was a deep, heavy sacrifice that He walked through. 

It was more than ham and pineapple stuffing…He became the Bread of Life.  

Jesus overcame death, not just for him, but for us too…which is even more than what I'll walk through when He heals all of my bodily ailments.  

He is these few, few things, and so much more.  

It's not just about randomly going to church this one time a year, but about serving Him everyday with our thoughts, our actions, our confession, our faith.  

The story of Jesus' life, death and resurrection is more than just a story.  It's a journey of God's physical being on earth…Him living life like us…only in a sinless fashion.

The beauty of the the cross is filled with pain and suffering.  It's filled with anguish and yet LIFE flowed gloriously.

Everything I once held dear, I count as loss…Lead me to the cross…Rid me of myself, I belong to You…

Lead Me to the Cross

Head the Warning Signs

We all have our stories.  And this blog is all about mine. 🙂  First I'd like to share some warning signs…Click on them to read them…

Helpdesk Warningsign  Moose warning sign 300Warning_Sign_by_SouthernDesigner

 So I had a number of occasions over the last 6 months where I had this immense pain in my upper abdominal area, into my pain, that almost sent me to the hospital a few times.  I had my suspicions as to what it might be and made an appointment with a gastro-doctor-guy.  He told me this past Monday that I was most likely right-gallstones.  Yippee!  I needed one more thing wrong with me!  He set me up to have some tests done to check whether it's for sure, and also to check for some other possibilities.  The other possibilities did come true, and I'll find out about the gallstone thing next week.  It's official-Ihave some lovely stomach issues that I hadn't even anticipated!

As I've been contemplating these little issues that are killing my old diet (literally everything that I truly enjoy eating more than anything is on the "avoid these foods" list), I've been wondering how long I would've dealt with them had I not had the severe pain of the probable gallstones.  I hadn't been feeling anything but minor heartburn…but really, what's a little heartburn every now and then?  Octopus-warning-sign  

Everything that I read about online to see how to treat and deal with these issues tells me that others always know when they're flaring up, or whatnot, but I hardly ever notice anything wrong!  That is, until yesterday.

Both yesterday and today I have actually noticed some stomachaches!  Once I thought about them I realized that I have felt this sickness for months, but literallyTurnDrownWarningSign   never really noticed it much!  I just must've gotten used to that awful feeling…and now it's gotten a lot worse than if I'd noticed it right away!

So I can't help but compare this to sin.  This is not a new message and I don't know that it will wreck someone's life in a good way, but at the same time, I can't help but think of the correlation!  What happens when I ignore the little signs that something is wrong with my thought life, or my actions, or my words?  What happens when I ignore the my gut that the Holy Spirit wants to use me in a situation?  What happens when I ignore what Scripture is screaming out to me to change?  The same thing that happens when I ignore the little signs that something is wrong with my stomach…ulcers and acid reflux of my spiritual heart. 

Warning_sign  And what do I have to do now?  Change my diet.  All the things that I enjoy-cheese, chocolate, tomatoes, mochas, ah, the list goes on…they all have to be eliminated for some time, and then only enjoyed every now and then once my insides have healed significantly.  If only I hadn't ignored the warning signs…If only I hadn't become so numb to this crappy feeling in my stomach that was trying to tell me I've been sick.  Then maybe I wouldn't have to spend an arm and a leg on all this medical treatment.  If only…

I cannot live with regret, but I can live with a better, more disciplined plan for the present and future.  And so it is with life.  Look to the past to change the future.  Here's to paying attention to the warning signs, both in my tummy and in my life.  We need to choose the things that will makeWarning-sign us healthy, inside and out.

James 5.13-15  Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing. Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master. Believing-prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you've sinned, you'll be forgiven—healed inside and out.

My New Normal

My friend, Leah, has written numerous times about what a "new normal" has looked like in her life.  She transitioned a few times in the past 2 years, from getting married and moving states, to having a baby, to moving states again recently, and very soon here she'll be moving again to plant a church in my hometown of Philly with her husband, Brad.  Leah has talked about how her life was normal, but when big change and transition happens, she's had to find a new normal.  (She talks about it much more eloquently than I am right now:)  But nonetheless, I'm going to steal her term for this post and apply it to my own life these past 6 months.

Life in Michigan had its normalcy to it…friends, church, work, apartment/roommate, city, etc.  No type of normal existed for a few months of transition between last spring and summer.  Then I moved down here to DC, knowing a new normal would take some time to ease into.  

For a couple of months I couldn't work, make friends, jump into a church, or get to know my city…this was not the normal I was looking for.  I did not want this to become normal for me for any amount of time.

After those first couple of months, a few of those things changed and I began to see small specks of normalcy, but of course this would still take time.

More and more, as time has gone on, I have been able to experience moments of my new normal.  It hasn't spread to every area of my life yet-that's for another post, down the road…later in the year, hopefully.  It has been really fun to watch this unfold though.

I've been elated to become a part of the lives of several students in Alexandria, and to have developed friendships with some of the most incredible people I've ever met.  Let's just say that I'm really impressed with how God has been working my life out.  That's not to say that there haven't been so really dark challenges to face, that I'm still walking through even now, but He has placed people in my everyday life that walk in an abundance of joy…that are overflowing with Jesus' love…that enjoy soaking in His presence (and this is evident)…that are authentic…that keep positive attitudes (even when that's hard)…and that are deep-belly-laughing fun people to spend time with.  

For example, I recall a few weeks ago when the Blizzard of 2010 was first hittin' us hard and I had the opportunity to spend some quality time with some of these folks.  Sometime around the 2nd or 3rd day I realized that my jaw was hurting me really bad…but it was because I had been laughing so much.  Now that's a great reason for pain.

Last night I had the opportunity to spend some quality time praying with some friends-a couple of whom I just met last week.  I was overwhelmed at this realization, once again, that God has done an excellent job of surrounding me with people that have helped to create a new normal for me.  It's been a very busy week…which has certainly become normal.  But amongst the normal busyness, He's given me direction with people to be centered around Him.  That's a new normal that will impact me for years to come, and hopefully it will also impact others in some way as well.  So grateful to Jesus.

Sad News

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. 
  
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. 
  
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions. 
  
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough.  He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. 
  
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. 
  
If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift. 

*Thanks to my mom who sent me this today…it was well "kneaded".  What a laugh.

A Better Story in ’10

This year I would like to begin naming chapters, instead of setting resolutions.  Truth be told…I haven't been so awesome with resolutions anyway, like most people.

I couldn't put things so eloquently as one of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, but I'll give it a shot in the wee hours of the morning, as I sit with these thoughts running through my head.

Resolutions are okay, and they have their place in our lives, I suppose.  Setting out to create stories makes life so much more interesting, not to mention a bit more attainable.

I am a verbal person.  (insert snickering remarks from friends and close co-workers;)  I love to talk/write/email, and I love stories.  According to the Strengths Finder 2.0 test, Communication is one of my top 5…go figure:)  It would make sense that I would do better with wanting to write a new chapter in my story than just wanting to accomplish a resolution.  I'm going to steal Donald Miller's example, and change it to look more like me for a moment…

It's no secret to anyone that's known me for years that I like to think I'm a runner.  Every now and then I kind of become one, and then I tend to slowly drop off, for one reason or another.  But believe it or not, it's still in my head that I'm a runner.  And even though I have my back issues now, I still want to run a marathon (or several) some day.  I still want to run my 10k's and my 5k's.  The desire is still there.  Unfortunately I do have my back issues and the possibility of surgery in my future.  

So right now, the chapter in my story that I'd like to see happen is going to be called, "Becoming Physically Fit Meant No Surgery".  Honestly, right now I am loving the thought of surgery to get rid of the back pain that I experience.  6 weeks-months of recovery?  No problem.  The thing is, even if I have the surgery, I need to become more physically fit to continue to not be in pain.  Sure I could set out to "exercise 5x/week", and that would be a valiant goal for me and my schedule right now.  But it's so much bigger than exercising just to do it.  Now there's other stuff involved.  I'd like to see how this could impact my need for surgery over the next 6 months…we shall see!  Sure it'd be great to be able to say that I exercised "x" amount of times a week for 6 months straight (we'd all see a difference!), but it would be a better story to say that I was able to work my way out of needing surgery…and that I was then able to run a 5K with some friends this summer. It's just a better story.

These next couple of weeks I'll be thinking more about the chapters I'd like to write this year.  I loved 2009, as crazy as it was, for the simple realization that I got to see an overflow of joy in my life through some tough transitions and challenges.  

It's so cliche to talk of 2010 as if it will be the best year of my life, but if I walk intentionally to write a better story, breathed on by the Holy Spirit, it will be!  I saw throughout this past year that that doesn't always come through the most comfortable experiences, but every great story has great conflict to overcome.  

For now, check out the blogspiration for my thoughts.

Can I Pway fo You?

My nephew, Ryder, now associates my ice pack with my back problems…

So I just got up to get my ice pack, and when I got back he said to me, "Mim, can I pway fo you?"

"Yes, of course you can!"  I said.

"Dear Jesus God, thank you for Mim.  Pwease make her feew better.  Amen.  Do you feew bettah?"

"In so many ways, I do." 🙂  

Love this kid!!!